perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
