kristin has been a bad kristin
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
