k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize