is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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