i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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