I got chris browned last night
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
