Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
