How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
