Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
