fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
