She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
