So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You need a sexual gate keeper
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
