Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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