so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
