went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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