why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I want a musical about memes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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