my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
