You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
