So drunk its hurt
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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