Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
