In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize