Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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