Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
