i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
