I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
