I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
