If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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