Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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