I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
