Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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