just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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