We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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