I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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