how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
