and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
