you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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