i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
pray to the hookup gods
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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