No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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