lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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