Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
