Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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