i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
