I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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