Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
