I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
