You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
