hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
