Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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