you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
