I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
