If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
