We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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