My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
