how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
