oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
