i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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