Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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