Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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