Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
