I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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