Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
